It’s almost a year since last update. I’ve been browsing through my old posts and realized that I need to keep on writing. If not for someone else, but for myself. Reading your past has a value, unwritten words can’t be read. I’m not going to get sentimental now, but the past year or so, has been the most turbulent time of my life. I can easily say I’ve experienced the highest highs and lowest lows of my life so far during the past 12 months, not to speak about the past 16 months.

Being forced to move twice, starting a new job, losing that job due to a virus (laid off for now), experienced Haute Route Dolomites which has been on my bucket-list for so long, I’ve turned into an uncle and godfather to a beautiful little girl, I’ve also had to let go of important people in my life. Just a few to mention. All have left their mark in both good and bad, and it’s been some deep digging through a winter that seemed everlasting dark.

I could go on with clichés, that I’ve learn to look at in new ways. However, I try to avoid doing that. But there is something in having to put yourself through shit. I guess that can also be called life. You might find out things about yourself you didn’t understand before. Also about other people. Perspective is what you are taught. Perspective is that personal lens that refract and filter whatever life throws at you. And I guess that in times like these, with the world going upside-down, the edging and shaping of that perspective during the past year gives me a kind of calmness. I also know the edging and shaping of that perspective will continue and that it is not just up to me to decide how things are refracted. But that I can affect it.

First time participating in Haute Route was an amazing experience

I’ve thought how I should go on with this site, for some weeks now. And I could not do that without leaving a mark for future me. It is not so much for you than for me. But maybe if someone crosses this post, it could be comforting to know you learn and grow from shit that might eventually end up your way.

You can really draw parallels between life and cycling. Sometimes facing a massive climb can make you doubt, can you really make it without unclipping? Most often the answer is yes. But in order to make it, you need to be able to somehow visualize getting to the top and reaching that peak. And you need to prepare for the last meters, they might be the hardest. The road might ramp-up just before the top, so don’t lose focus before you’re actually there. And that feeling, the massive endorphin-kick while you roll down the back of the mountain enjoying the awesome views. The road will eventually level out, you will probably face headwinds and even false flats before that next climb. And you might need some help and cheering along the route, accept that. Accept the help from your teammates and let the mechanic fix the things on your bike you can’t take care of yourself.

Tour de France 2014, stage 11 has stayed with me. Not because of the stage winner Tony Gallopin, but because of the man who suffered, got off the bike and got back on the bike, merely wanting to finish the stage within the time cut. And did so, 32 minutes behind the winner. He was supposed to fight for the yellow jersey going into the tour that year. Andrew Talansky had crashed earlier and suffered from back pains. You could see he was hurt, he got off his bike and sat at the roadside for some time but continued. He was out there all by himself. He eventually quit the race later but finished the stage. You could see it was emotional and he was crying probably out of pain but also by it being mentally tough.

And that’s where I’m going to stop with the sentimental stuff, at least for now. I will get back with more cycling related stuff in the future. Being laid off means more time for training and learning new stuff. And maybe also writing.

I want to end this post with a great speech by Steve Jobs. If for some reason you haven’t seen it, take 15 minutes of your life to view it. It consists of three main stories: Connecting the dots, Love and loss and Death. All of these are highly relevant during these times.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
Steve Jobs

So folks, stay safe, stay hungry and stay foolish!

Stay hungry. Stay foolish.